we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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