She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I am available for nakedness
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
