i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
