Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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