Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
