So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
