how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
