So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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