If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
