Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
