you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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