Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize