You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
