She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
