If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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