also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Houston, we have a squirter
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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