Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So many bounce houses so little time
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
