Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
