i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
