i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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