Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize