Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
