Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
