I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
