you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
