Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
