he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
