so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
