My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
