my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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