I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
