her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
