I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
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Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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