Christians are straight up FREAKS
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
