and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
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He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
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It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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