Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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