Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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