I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
