Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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