Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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