did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
