Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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