i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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