Porn is love you can see.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
