remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
