put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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