First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
