that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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