Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
