Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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