I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
