Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
