did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
