Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
