Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
