I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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