Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
