YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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