I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
