Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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