you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize