I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
