when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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