this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
