If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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